G.W.S.-Good Woman Syndrome

Have you ever:

                •Put someone’s needs before your own?

                •Agreed with everything even if it’s disadvantageous for you?

                •Been that “shoulder” that someone cries on?

                •Overcompensate for someone else’s shortcomings?

                •Been the “go to girl” for everything & everyone?

If you answered “yes” to at least one of these questions chances are you either currently or have suffered from G.W.S. —- Good Woman Syndrome. From childhood we have been groomed to think that good women are the ones who have the “pick of the litter”, when it comes to men. In most cases it’s true because 9 times out of 10 good women tend to attract emotionally draining, unstable, opportunistic men. They are usually the ones who are always harboring on the pain of their past or how they can’t seem to get a break in life. They are usually very cunning when it comes to “wooing” a good woman.

Good women see those men as having “potential”, and desire to be that strong support for him. However, when this happens years will pass by and the man dumps that woman, leaving her emotionally and sometimes financially drained. The good woman is often left hurt, confused, and sometimes bitter, but ends up back with the same type of guy, thus continuing the cycle. So what can a woman do to end the cycle?

For one thing good women are usually “too giving, too soon”. There is nothing wrong with giving however a relationship is about reciprocation. Also good women tend to allow themselves to be the “go to girl” for their friends, family and lovers. Being a supportive person is a wonderful quality to have, but have a limit (you can’t be a great support if you’re pulled in every direction).  Good women also tend to compensate for other’s shortcomings especially men. Yes, it is messed up that he’s had a hard knock life, but whose life has been perfect? We all go through trials and obstacles, but in the end we keep on living and make it through. He’s an adult and if he’s looking at you as the only support then you’re setting yourself up for failure and pain. When his issues are deep rooted the best thing you can do is refer him to the nearest therapist because only he can heal his own wounds.

So basically what a woman can do to end G.W.S. is to be giving, but fair, not allow others to use them as their only support,  know when to say no, put yourself first and lastly reflect on yourself and past relationships to figure out what was learned (yes even in bad relationships there are lessons). I know and understand these things because I once suffered from G.W.S., but I’ve learned my lesson and moved forward. I hope this post will be a start for you as well.